Tag Archives: fiction

Arsene Home Alone – Part 2, The Thrilling Conclusion!!!!

Part 1 can be found here.

If these criminals fought their way past the glue bibs, the frozen steps  and what lay in wait for them in the cellar, then they will deserve to get what they came for. It will show tremendous mental strength, thought Arsene. He finished rigging up the trap which lay in wait in the hallway which led to the kitchen – splintered science beakers found in Mathieu Flamini’s locker. Arsene took a second for a moment of pride at his resourcefulness – hewn from season after season of adapting a squad to fill a gap in personnel – and headed for the kitchen.

Meanwhile, the Spurs Bandits – Harry and Micky – had gotten to the stairs of the cellar which led to the upper hallway and nearer their ultimate destination. Unfortunately, the intrepid hero who had attempted to stem their progress thus far had taken to painting these steps with anti-climbing paint. This led to them shedding their footwear and socks on each step, one at a time. Now barefoot, only two steps remained but these were a great struggle as the sticky stuff attempted to tear off the soles of their feet on each point of contact.

They eventually reached the top, bereft of footwear. Harry, sensing his friend was growing frustrated, tried to lighten his mood, in his own inimitable way.

” Spurs Bandits, right Micky? ”

Continue reading Arsene Home Alone – Part 2, The Thrilling Conclusion!!!!

Home Alone – With An Arsenal Twist Part 1.

Posted on Goonersphere

The last of the throaty exhausts spewed its noise past the security bollard which marked the sole entrance and exit to the sprawling London Colney Training ground. One by one, the Lamborghini’s, Ferrari’s and  Bentley’s had left the car park until one car remained.

Arsene, still in his training gear but currently adding his usual well padded coat into the mix, walked over to the now departing security guard. Jimmy was new to the staff roll at Colney but Arsene still made the effort to hand him his Christmas card and bonus personally.


Jimmy greeted the Arsenal boss with a sheepish look and a curt nod of gratitude. Guilt was now overriding any thought of his impending financial gain. Jimmy took to his waiting cab with a quick look back at the man who had just given him a gift. Arsene was at the main door and as usual, the last person to leave the complex.

It was meant to be a simple transaction and seeing as he was new to the job, he was meant to have no emotional ties to the people who worked there. All he was asked to do by this anonymous person was to leave the alarm codes by the unlocked security desk. Payment was wired promptly to his account and everything was going swimmingly – until he had been handed his ill-deserved bonus by the man who would be hurt deeply by tonight’s nefarious plans.

It’ll be fine, he told himself as the cab snaked its way toward the airport through the holiday traffic and dusting of snow. I can forget about it whilst sunning myself on a beach somewhere halfway across the world.

He knew though, that guilt would be packed in his suitcase.

Continue reading Home Alone – With An Arsenal Twist Part 1.

The Football Underworld – Mission Improbable

Originally posted on Goonersphere

His family sensed it.

The normally bubbling brook that is the morning school run was devoid of noise, incomprehensible as that may seem. The two youngsters in various stages of full school uniform shovelled their sugary cereals with real urgency. For once, the school bell couldn’t ring quick enough.

His wife was running along the pre-ordained tracks of the morning routine, finishing off the kids packed lunches and simultaneously munching on a slice of toast. The hustle of family life normally was all she needed. She gleaned energy from the all-demanding lifestyle of the modern working mother. She juggled numerous responsibilities that would cause most people to collapse within themselves after a couple of weeks of her hectic schedule, but she was never happier than when she had an itinerary brimming with tasks.

Not today though.

She had been aware of the power struggle that her normally ice-cool husband had been part of in recent weeks. She had implicit confidence that the man she married would hurdle over this complication much like every other he had faced.

This morning proved otherwise. She had only ever seen this facet of her beloved once before, during their stint in Spain. She had never wished to see this side of her man again after that instance. Seeing the fixed, wide-eyed stare and nigh stationary position, she was in a hurry to get the children out of the house so they wouldn’t exacerbate what was already a grave situation.

Not only that – she didn’t want to be around when this blew wide open.

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Unknown History III – Mesut Ozil

Originally posted on Goonersphere.

Arsenal and Germany’s Mesut Ozil has forged a reputation for having an almost telepathic ability to present goalscoring opportunities to teammates. His unwavering talent for ghosting past opposition with his excellent ball control and his first class passing skill has seen him cement his place amongst the higher echelons of current-day players.

It could have been so different.

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The Unknown History of Steve Bould

Originally posted on Goonersphere

Born on the 16th of November 1962 in the balmy heat of El Flangio, Nicaragua; Stephen Muriel Bould was a hefty baby – weighing in at two stones and ten ounces. His mother Fangita tragically died giving birth to this gargantuan infant, leaving Steve’s father, Admiral Quentin Farquhar Askwith Bould III, to shoulder the burden of an infant whilst maintaining a Royal Navy Fleet.

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